The St. Cloud Times did an excellent job of using the Freedom of Information Act to gain access to emails pertaining to St. Cloud State's decision to join the National Collegiate Hockey Conference. But like any large journalistic undertaking, not every piece of information gathered can fit into the story. I thought I'd take a look, Shouts and Murmurs-style, at some of the highlights from those forgotten documents.
-One of the big ones was St. Cloud's official application to join the conference. To make sure St. Cloud was a "like-minded institution," it covered all the major topics from branding ("Will you refer to the conference as "The National," because only people associated with the conference call it that"), to academics (Did any of your players fail to meet the high academic standards of the University of New Hampshire? A) Yes B) Academics? jk lol"), to an essay portion (Why is the University of Minnesota so not as great as they think they are?")
-Emails sent from NCHC reps to Boston College and Boston University. There's too many to sort through since there's about 8000 of them, but most of them contain some variation of "But we're going to call it 'The National'!"
-The St. Cloud Times piece mentioned the email Gino Gasparini sent to Denver athletic director Peg Bradley-Doppes, expressing disappointment in Denver coach George Gwozdecky saying that St. Cloud had turned down an invitation from the NCHC. Missing, however, was Bradley-Doppes' response:
"Look, if you're going to believe things just because they came out of George Gwozdecky's mouth, then maybe you're not the right fit for this conference. It's just one of those lies he tells because it's more convenient than the truth, like "We'll still play WCHA teams" or "You don't need surgery, Sam Brittain".
-This one, taken from the computer of Bob Motzko, is just an Ask Jeeves search for "horrible business cliches"
-I have no idea why anyone wanted this, but they also asked for a copy of my Social Network-esque screenplay, telling the story of the founding of the NCHC through a gritty reboot of the classic Simpsons episode "The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show". Sample except:
North Dakota Minion: Excuse me, but "like-minded institution" and "strengthening our brand"? Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that. I'm fired, aren't I?
Brian Faison: Oh yes.
-There's dozens of pages of expense reports filed by the Goldwater Group to the NCHC, along with a note that said: "No commissioner candidates here in Cancun. Barbados looks promising though."
-And finally, an email, sent from Notre Dame to the NCHC, dated last week, which says, "We expect to have a decision on conference affiliation that we'll be announcing in seven to 10 days."